How to avoid Workplace Bullying: Tips for dealing with Hostile Bosses and CoWorkers

Workplace bullying by both superiors and co-workers can take significant tolls on the target’s physical and psychological health. There are currently no federal laws that specifically prevent bullying in the workplace in the United States — which means that in most cases, the burden of managing and escaping the situation falls on the target.

Key Takeaways

• Workplace bullying is defined by repeated, unreasonable behavior — not a single difficult interaction — and it is far more prevalent than official statistics capture.
• Targets of workplace bullying are disproportionately high performers; being targeted is not a reflection of weakness or incompetence.
• Building a documented “business case” — showing how the bully’s behavior affects organizational productivity — is more effective than appealing to personal morality or fairness.
• The legal protections for bullying targets in the U.S. are weak unless the behavior constitutes discriminatory harassment; this makes documentation and strategic planning even more important.
• Leaving with dignity and a clear plan is almost always a better outcome than staying indefinitely in a toxic situation, even in a difficult job market.

The Reality of Workplace Bullying

Dr. Gary Namie of Bellingham, Washington, co-founded the Workplace Bullying Institute after his wife, Dr. Ruth Namie, personally experienced sustained bullying in her workplace. After years of struggling to resolve the situation, the couple founded a hotline where targets — not “victims,” a label the Institute deliberately avoids — could call in and receive advice. Their research has shaped how HR professionals, legal scholars, and workplace advocates think about this problem.

The scale of the problem is larger than most people acknowledge. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute’s surveys, nearly 30% of American workers have directly experienced workplace bullying. The behavior is not random — it tends to be calculated and sustained, designed to isolate the target and undermine their standing.

Building Your Case

The Workplace Bullying Institute generally advocates an approach that helps targets build a “business case” against aggressors. The goal is to demonstrate to senior leadership or HR that the organization cannot afford to retain the bully in terms of productivity, team performance, and legal risk — not just that one person is upset.

Most targets of bullying are strong performers, which is frequently why they are being targeted in the first place. Insecure managers and colleagues target capable people who represent a threat to their status. However, the same targets often experience absenteeism and diminished output as the bullying wears them down — which is the measurable organizational cost that creates leverage.

Practical steps for building a business case:

1. Document every incident with date, time, location, what was said or done, and any witnesses. Write these down within 24 hours while details are fresh.
2. Identify the pattern. A single incident is a conflict. Repeated, targeted behavior is bullying. Your documentation should reveal the pattern clearly.
3. Quantify the impact. If the bullying is affecting your productivity, attendance, or health, note that. If it is affecting the team’s cohesion or output, note that too.
4. Seek witnesses carefully. Colleagues who have observed the behavior are potentially valuable, but approach them privately and thoughtfully — the workplace political dynamics around bullying are complex.

Why Targets Often Leave

Unfortunately, even in the best-case scenarios, the target of workplace bullying usually ends up leaving their job rather than the bully being removed. The bully often has more organizational capital, more tenure, or more political cover. This is a deeply unfair outcome, and it is one that advocates like the Workplace Bullying Institute are working to change legislatively.

That said, leaving with dignity and self-respect matters enormously for what comes next. A controlled departure — where you have secured your next role, maintained your professional reputation, and left on professional terms — makes it far easier to land well. A reactive departure, driven by the point of breaking, typically produces a worse outcome.

Economic Pressure and the Decision to Leave

The difficult reality is that economic circumstances affect how much a target can realistically do. Leaving a salary — especially during a difficult job market — feels like an impossible risk for many people. If you are in this position, the priority is parallel planning: pursue new opportunities actively while continuing to document the situation and protect your professional reputation internally.

Aggressive behavior is not tied to race, sex, or sexuality, so it cannot always legally be called harassment. Until stronger legislative protections exist, the practical strategies above are the most reliable tools targets have.

For guidance on conducting a confidential job search while still employed, see the job search guide.

Common Mistakes Targets Make

• Hoping it will stop on its own. Bullying rarely resolves without intervention. Waiting typically allows it to escalate and deepens the impact on your health and performance.
• Confronting the bully publicly. Public confrontations almost always backfire. They give the bully an opportunity to paint the target as the aggressor and rarely produce the outcome the target wants.
• Suffering in isolation. Bullies rely on targets feeling too ashamed or afraid to speak to anyone. Breaking that isolation — with a mentor, a trusted colleague outside the team, or a professional counselor — is itself a protective act.
• Letting it define your professional identity. Being targeted by a bully says something about the bully’s insecurity, not your competence. Protecting your self-perception throughout the experience is not optional — it is essential for what comes next.

Frequently Asked Questions

What counts as workplace bullying? Workplace bullying is repeated, unreasonable behavior directed at an employee that creates a risk to their health and safety. It includes persistent public humiliation, exclusion from meetings and decisions, sabotage of work, unjustified criticism, and threats. A single unpleasant interaction is not bullying — the pattern is what defines it.

What should I do if I am being bullied at work? Start by documenting each incident — date, time, what was said or done, and who was present. Seek support from a trusted colleague, mentor, or employee assistance program. If the bullying continues, escalate through official channels with your documentation. Do not suffer in silence; that is what bullies count on.

Is workplace bullying illegal in the United States? Workplace bullying is not specifically illegal in most U.S. states unless it rises to the level of discriminatory harassment based on a protected characteristic like race, sex, or religion. Several states have introduced anti-bullying legislation, but as of today, no federal law specifically prohibits workplace bullying that is not tied to discrimination.

Why do bullies target high performers at work? Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute consistently finds that targets of workplace bullying are often among the strongest performers on their teams. High performers may be perceived as threats by insecure managers or colleagues, making them targets of attempts to undermine their standing and confidence.

How do I leave a bullying situation without it hurting my career? Leave with a plan. Secure your next opportunity before resigning if at all possible. Prepare a neutral, professional explanation for why you are leaving — focus on growth or new opportunities rather than the situation. Use references outside the toxic relationship, and maintain professionalism through your final days regardless of the circumstances.